Julie invited me over for dinner last night. All I had to do was beg for about 30 minutes and she just went ahead and asked me. I told her that all I ever eat is junk food and cookies and banana bread with peanut butter and she simply caved. It was nice of her, I thought. When I got there, she had already eaten, but made me a big bowl of homemade chicken soup, loaded with chunks of chicken, little potatoes, peas, carrots and lots of other vegetables. It was more like a chicken stew, but since I have a son with that exact name (Stu), I've learned not to use that name next to chicken. When he was young, we used to tease him and call him Chicken Stu. With that said, I should probably go ahead and describe the salad.
I'm told it was wonderful. It had avocado, eggs, croutons and lots of other goodies. When I got there, all that was left was chopped lettuce, cucumbers sans the seeds, tomato slices and my choice of dressings. It was great and the best thing I'd eaten all week.
I noticed that Julie was favoring one side of her back and asked what was wrong. She told me that the massage chair that she had bought me for one of my Christmas presents became available a couple of days ago and it had been kicking her ass! The one that she gave me for Christmas didn't work when we plugged it in, so the Sharper Image was going to notify her when they got one in stock. I guess that happened over the weekend, but somehow no one ever notified me, the recipient. Instead, said giver of such gift kept it to her little self and used it all weekend while I just wondered about it, hmmm........
I was pretty excited about it and wanted to try it out. Julie volunteered to me that I probably wouldn't like it. Imagine that, she thought I wouldn't like a nice gentle massage by an inanimate creation that promised not to get tired when it first started feeling good. With a full belly, I settled into the big reclining chair that vibrated and massaged all in one. Upon Julie's advice, I leaned back into it to really enjoy the deep tissue Swedish Massage that it offered. That was around the time I first screamed out in pain! Julie laughed her ass off and I was trying to get out of this monster that was trying to kill me! The more I tried to escape, the more it sucked me in. It had a mind of it's own while Julie was holding her stomach laughing. I told you , you wouldn't like it, she kept saying as this gang member attacked each rib independently. I finally escaped the reach of this deadly chair and screamed for the gun. Shoot the mother I kept saying, while Julie kept giggling like a hyena. When I left last night to come home, we agreed it should stay at Julie's house and I can go ahead and use it whenever I'm there. (Like that's gonna happen).
I found my good sunglasses! It was the best thing that happened to me today. First, let me tell you that I'm the type of anal person that doesn't lose his things and when I do, I HATE it. Right now, in my car is a box of Julie's breath mints, on my dresser is a pair of her earrings and around my house there are several tubes of Blistex. I'm not like that, I try to hold onto my things.
One time I lost my sunglasses for almost a year. Firstly, I replaced them with a pretty nice pair and then one day, my son and I went to our favorite Chinese restaurant and the owner saw Brad and ran to him saying, "I've got your sunglasses"! I had been on a diet and not gone to that restaurant for a very long time. Diets and Chinese food don't get along. When the gentleman put down the sunglasses in front of my son, I almost screamed in delight. My old friends had come back to me. Why he thought they belonged to my son is beyond me, but the important thing was that we were reunited.
One day about 2 months ago, I noticed that my old sunglasses had disappeared. I looked everywhere, including Julie's house, all of my cars, all of my drawers and pockets of clothes I'd worn................ nothing! Today, I got into a car that has been sitting around my car lot for waaay too long and decided to try to start it. I climbed inside and there on the passenger's seat were my old faithful friends, just sitting there waiting patiently for me to reclaim them. You know what? This made for a pretty boring story!
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