Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Bipolar and Cherry Pie...

I forgot that some people are bipolar. Unknown to me in advance, I learned that my second wife was bipolar and life with her was literally impossible, but that is not the subject for tonight's discussion. I think I've already written about that.

I was washing a few accumulated dishes when the call of nature beckoned me. I finished what I was doing and headed to the restroom. I was standing in from of the commode using it in just the fashion that the builder intended, when I heard a "chirp"! With all of the medical issues I've gone through of late, I was just praying that THAT hasn't developed a squeak. About 20 seconds later (I think) I heard the "chirp" again and was relieved in more ways than one. It was the battery in the smoke alarm that required replacement, but which one? I stood under the one in the hall and looked up at it waiting for the chirp to present itself again. Eventually it did, but it was not coming from the one that I was standing beneath. Boy, did I feel stupid standing there looking up! The only other one that I know of is in the master bedroom, too high for me to reach. First I looked for my flashlight, because I knew my step stool was outside in the backyard. Next trip is to the yard to look for the stool, only to find it soaking wet from our rain. I shake it off as best I can and bring it into the house and set it up beneath the offending smoke alarm.

Next is to find my 9 volt battery supply. Do you know where yours are? About 10 years ago, I was shopping at Costco and bought a gross of every size battery they make and keep them in a drawer somewhere. I begin searching drawers. Finding my 9 volts in a relatively short period of time and take one of the 15 or so that are still left, only to discover that it too is dead. (They don't last forever) I try another 10 or so and finally find one that still has a little breath left in it, success! Foolishly I put the other dead ones back in the container, after all they're new and maybe they'll work in a less demanding atmosphere, like a garage door opener, who knows? I put the smoke alarm back up on the ceiling and job complete, but make a mental note to buy new 9 volts the next time I'm at Home Depot.

Things on the dating services have been kind of slow. I still get the usual stream of older women 66 to 75 flirting with me but they all seem to look alike, melting! Last week one day, I received an email from a 54 year old woman that that was somewhat attractive, I'd rate her a 7. Blond hair, blue eyes, but short and her email didn't make sense. None of her emails made sense. It was as if she was writing only 1/2 of her thought and the rest stayed in her head. I replied, blaming the confusion on typos. At some point, I asked her for her cell number because certainly she spoke in full thoughts. Her spelling and grammar were good and it wasn't like she wasn't bright. At some point I called her and she was unusual to say the least. She told me a lot of very personal things in our first conversation and I pretty much decided not to contact her again. She said things like, she's looking for a man to lead, so she could follow and she doesn't like to talk but is a good listener. (I'm thinking I could have these kind of conversations by myself).

We were done! Last night I was sitting in my reclining chair devouring a piece of cherry pie, when the phone rang and it was she. What would you do? I finished the pie and called her back. I knew the pie was a win/win situation, but I wasn't sure the same of her. The very first thing that she shares with me is that she's bipolar and for 13 years, all she thought about was killing herself! Now she's on a different medication and is feeling better. Did you ever see a man try to begin running while in a reclining chair? That was me! Everything was beginning to come together for me. I was very nice and understanding, but at the same time, this is not something I want to buy into. She volunteered that the first time she made love, she was raped. Her former husband, that she was with for 10 years,  molested both of their sons and that the receptionist at her shrink's office doesn't like her. That's when she broke up with me! She interrupted me in the middle of a sentence and said that because of my age, she doesn't think it will work out. She took care of her poor ailing mother who suffered from Alzheimer's Disease and had to attend to her bathroom needs and she didn't want to have to do that with me! I said, me neither! That's when she told me that we could be friends with benefits though. I told her I'd have to give that some thought and said goodbye. Whew!

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